Burnout. What it is and How to Spot It
In the middle of a conversation at the coffee shop, you overhear a fellow customer chatting with a friend sitting next to you, “I’m feeling a bit burnt out. I need a rest.” You yourself may have used the word in the past to express an exhaustion you’ve experienced where it feels as if the rest you need will never amount to bring you energy again.
Burnout can be a capital stress to your mental health. There is a stay-at-home mother, who has a million things on her plate. As she washes dishes she’s thinking about the doctor appointment she needs to make when the baby naps, although actually, she would rather benefit from folding the laundry so she doesn’t have the baby crawling through her folded piles and making a mess of it all. She does this day in and day out. Chasing babies, planning the meals for the week and getting the laundry done all while being a supportive wife takes a toll; and quickly! So much of this and not enough time for the mother herself can be detrimentle to her health. She begins to feel tired as soon as she wakes up. Coffee isn’t doing it anymore in giving her that pep in her step. She is overly emotional compared to other days. This could very well be the beginning of burnout. Surely, this is a natural response for someone with that much to handle and it’s easy to spot. Let’s dive a little deeper with another example.
Let’s take an older man. He is in his late 60’s and is retired from a long career he loved. He is ecstatic to live the next chapter of his life as a retired man. He wakes up singing everyday ready to soak in the sun and enjoy the day. A year after retiring, his mother falls ill. As the oldest of four siblings it is only natural for him to want to take charge of everything that it takes to care for his mother. Siblings are willing to help here and there and honestly, they all tell him to reach out if he needs a break, but naturally he does the majority of the work. He is on survival mode as he’s caring for himself and his mother while still tending to his wife. His mother is so ill that hospice comes in to help her live comfortably on her last days. He does what he can and takes orders from the hospice nurses and finds time to make himself a meal and help his wife clean up the house a little. His mother passes, and with tears in his eyes he makes the final arrangements and begins the process for a funeral. He goes to bed imagining that the emotional day will take over and not allow any sleep for that night. When in reality he goes into the deepest sleep he's had in a very long time. The next day it is hard to get out of bed. Hard to even pick up the phone to check in with family or friends. His mind is absent and he stays this way for multiple weeks. Only wanting to sleep. This too- can be burnout.
The APA Dictionary of psychology states burnout is a “physical, emotional or mental exhaustion, accompanied by decreased motivation, lowered performance and negative attitudes towards oneself and others.” Days like the ones we are living in now are a target for burnout. We give so much of ourselves, making it easy to become overwhelmed, drained, even resentful for the responsibilities we take upon ourselves. Days are spent using up every minute we have to get all the tasks done before the sun goes down. There is very little time to slow down and truly feel any emotions or pay attention to our bodies to see what we can provide in order for a quick rejuvenation.
Is it starting to sound like you may be experiencing burnout? The following are a few symptoms you can look out for before you reach out to a professional.
You begin to seem insensitive to your friends and family. Allowing cynicism to overshadow your days.
Co-workers, friends, even romantic relationships seem like a constant chore and you forget what it’s like to enjoy their company.
Your sense of identity is struck and feels only as if nothing can get done correctly unless you handle it.
Your health is neglected. You find it difficult to make it a priority.
Exhaustion has made its home and you feel like your brain is ‘mush’. This then brings on anxiety and panic.
Your energy levels are at an all time low, making you feel hopelessness in the tasks ahead of you. Like nothing will get done.
Surely, we can’t all be burnt out, right? This sounds a lot like stress! Although they have much in common, a stressed person vs. someone experiencing burnout has its clear difficulties. Stress is feeling the weight of the task and the need to get it done as soon as possible. The task gets done and if another task arises, it can seem almost unbelievable how the workload is just piling up, but regardless one can still see the light at the end of the tunnel. If they just get this done, they will wipe their hands clean of it and life will go on happily.
Burnout carries a feeling of despair and hopelessness. When one has a task at hand it may feel like it’s all too much to handle. One will begin to wonder how they ended up with so much work and constantly have doubt about the ability to complete it. How in the world will this ever get done? Hopelessness and self-doubt will go hand in hand and make a harsh cocktail for one to overcome. Debuting depression as the result.
The good news is that there is always help. So many of us experience this and the feeling of hopelessness can leave us lonely, maybe even feeling broken. That is far from the truth with the help that can be provided. Of course you can make your own changes to overcome it. Changes such as leaving a stressful environment for a peaceful one. Seeking out positive relationships, and making sure you make your health a priority. It sounds simple and to some it may be! However others can feel the need of a nudge, a helping hand, to help them break it down and get to the root of the problem so they can apply the proper actions to overcome it.
Burnout is hard and can make you feel lonely. Taking the proper course of action with a professional you trust, can leave you feeling like a new person and looking forward to living life again.